When «no» is the best answer

This is a part of a message I sent yesterday to a speaker/bible teacher whose studies are a huge blessing. She shared how she entered in the teaching thing, and I saw similarities to my story. Sometimes transparency can be so encouraging.

«Thank you for sharing how you enter teaching Bible studies. I can totally relate. At the age of 22 I got a degree in Bible and Theology. What a dangerous thing is to give public recognition to a young, unwise and proud person! I pretty much told God «here I am to help your cause with my degree and experience, you’re welcome» (I have to laugh now when I think I thought myself so experienced in life and spiritual matters). My plans were not scandalous or 100 % selfish. I wanted to go for a master degree, get a position as a Bible teacher in a seminar or university, grow old and be happy . Now I see the problem: I wanted to teach about someone I didn’t know to people I didn’t even like. (I’ve always felt more comfortable with ideas and books than with people). Just to make this worse, I left Bible school completely lost. I didn’t know if I had talents, abilities, gifts or anything that would keep me alive outside the academic world.

So God simply said no to my wonderful plans. I might have had the knowledge, but I was lacking love for my borthers and sisters and humility to admit that I’m so unnecessary to carry out his purposes. Instead a master degree, thing that I eventually got, God signed me in to a personal course on getting to know him personally, not through books. It was just the 2 of us watching everyone else accomplishing great things while I was put on hold. According to me, my life was falling apart. I took a job as a language tutor, because there was nothing else for me in that small city south Spain.

10 years later, that tutoring became into a career. Still not quite as I expected, but I can see a pattern in my life, a pattern I could have never orchestrated. Someone is polishing my teaching skills for his purposes. 15 years later I can finally see why that «no» was the right answer.

As I young friend used to say: «we are not ready for the same things at the same time».